loud crashes with no release, no white spark of tension relieved, just roaring from above

it finally rained today. the water seems to be jumping upward from the ground, desperate to return to the sky and unable to reach even a few inches above the ground... but what you can't see from inside my windows is the falling... every desperate leaping drop has fallen from grace. and the moment that they find the smallest semblance of solid surface they attempt to return to the sky immediately... only to fail and melt into a puddle that flows ever downward. down and down. still a slave to gravity. of course, it's the seeping down that eventually leads to the return to the clouds... but can you blame the drops for wanting to skip the process?

The leaves have turned red. But only on my street.

...my deadline keeps getting moved back... which is either grace or cruelty for my heart. Currently the date is Monday... i do not even know where to begin to beseech your prayers and support... I feel so beyond myself and completely beyond the capacity to leap at the sky.

Fortunately I had someone much more sane than I suggest a more productive way to spend my night



I had planned to add David's "non semper erit aestas"...still may, we'll see... but I am not a painter and once the therapeutic process has passed I don't really know what to do with them for aesthetic progress...

its time for tea

there are still those who love me. despite myself. thank you.

...fiat lux...