August 27, 2005

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       "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." -Samuel Beckett
  

      this picture is dedicated to:

       Sheri Wilson -and Kristin (who has been waiting for pictures for a long time)

       and Corey Wright -and Kristen (who deserves to know when i change my site-grin)

      *you make me close my eyes and smile like i have a secret far too important to share

             
                     
            

       time is running out like sand underneath my feet when i stand in the ocean... unstable.

       i have realized--once again-- how insanely lucky i am to know the friends i love.

       i have been an idiot so often and for so
  long-- i pray you forgive me and remain patient with me while i try to
  change that.

       (the only thing i can promise it that it will take a while)

      

       some of you lovelies have asked me for an
  address in Tunisia to send me snail mail.  First- *thank you, i
  would be floored to receive real mail

       second- no, i don't have an address yet. 
  i won't get one until i get there, at which time i will promptly supply
  you all with it.

       on that same note (which i have decided was B
  flat) there is a good possibility that i will have some remnant of a
  phone over there-

       who knew that T-mobile and Tunisia are friends?  apparently a lot of people, but not me. 

       Once again, i will be purchasing the phone there, so no number is avaliable as of yet. 

       many calls still need to be made... last
  minute hostel reservations as well (i am having the worst time with the
  irish train routes...this time i don't have      Jess Marinn
  to understand it all for me).  the plan is: fly to London August
  30, train to wales on Sept 3, ferry from Fishguard to Rosslare,
  Southern      Ireland for a few days, ferry from
  Rosslare to Cherbourg France on the...7th i think... train to Paris,
  train to Marseille, ferry to Tunis,

       3 days in Tabarka away from any tourists, and
  then meeting the family i'll be living with and starting classes on the
  16th.  I am excited, but

       i am starting to get nervous.  oddly
  enough not really about the trip (though the 10 hour flight is weighing
  over me a bit) or even the planning     

       (though you all know it is not my forte... ha, it's not even my pianissimo)

       i am getting really nervous about my language
  skills-- or lack there of.  i haven't done much in months, and
  besides that, the dialect i've been  

       studying is a far cry from Tunisian Arabic
  (they also speak French- of which i know 2 phrases- and have developed
  a Frarabic much like our

       Spanglish), and i am rather concerned about
  the heat.  remember me in texas?  yeah, my body isn't made
  for humidity.  and Tunisia... well, did you

       see StarWars espisode I?  Remember the red, desert planet?  it was filmed there. 

      (sigh) i don't know what else to write. 
  yesterday i was reminded just how desperately wicked and frail my heart
  can be... i played my parents

       piano for an hour at least, pounding the keys
  as if it counted as penance.  i play like crap when i'm
  upset.  at least, that upset, crying over the black 

       and whites doesn't work very well for
  me.  eventually it helped me breathe like i knew it would, the
  rhythms provided something shadowing

       consistency... sometimes i just need music, you know?

       last night i went out with some people i have
  not seen since the middle of high school...

       and i sang karaoke.  yeah... erin shute
  with a michrophone in a room full of people she doesn't know singing
  Billy Joel... you'd have been

       entertained, i guarantee it.   it is
  liberating to make a fool of yourself.  We went
  dancing afterwards (you'd have been proud).

      ...was invited camping this weekend but my heart
  just couldn't take it... besides, my little hour glass really is
  getting low...

   

      i leave in    3   d a y s

                                                    (503.428.1085)

  • 6:06 pm
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